Thok. Thok. Thok.*

*The sound my head makes when beating against the wall. Because it feels good when I stop.

I have encountered the only person on the planet who has never heard of "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly." She came in with a board book version of it, along with the board book of "Spider on the floor" -- which is a Raffi song, for crying out loud!-- and said that her son took them out to read to his daughter and found them offensive. Or she did. Whichever.

I wondered whether the illustrations were a bit off, you know, with someone doing something kind of gross, but her objection was to "Perhaps she'll die."

"It's all through the book," she said, then seemed affronted because I didn't leap up shrieking and reach to destroy the book. I offered to give her request for consideration forms, but she had some already and decided not to fill them out.

"We won't be checking them out again," she said. Okay. Fine. It's a free country. Thanks for being concerned about your child--and I mean that sincerely. Just don't act as if you smell something bad when you don't get the answer you want.

I have to wonder, though, about people who take out books without looking at them first--if they're so concerned.